peter cobley

Me, myself, and my cold - Thursday 14th March 2024

Morning all, coughing and spluttering away with the Mother of a cold that has had a death grip on me since Monday.. Just gone 5am in the morning in Tameside and cannot sleep, so on the laptop. One of the guys I share with, Damon, is up as well so there is man/male conversation.

I am now at the Doctor’s in Mossley for a check up or as Michael put it a MOT - he’s a friend I bumped into travelling here. Quiet, not me mind you as I’ve just sat down and started coughing again.

Today I have a call with Mike Pegg (http://linkedin.com/in/mikepegg1) who I’ve not spoken to in a while, followed by Adrian Lomas (http://linkedin.com/in/adrianlomas). Again not spoken to him in a while. Two old contacts. The former a Guru as to people and building businesses, the later a die hard never give up businessman. Be nice to chat after what has been a while. I will though seek to have a nap between the Doc’s and the calls, but am loathe to do so as it can bugger up the sleep routine which is all over the show at the moment.

It’s not long until Claire’s Easter holidays from Tobermory High School, and can’t wait to see her. She heads down for April and then two weeks on the Isle of Mull.

The view from the rented house in Tobermory over the bay is stunning and having seen the house know it also has a large garden to enjoy for when the weather improves.

It is a little strange being in Mossley now that we’ve sold the house and no longer live here. I have attachments to the place, will have, but also now have closure, and feel it is time to move on. Some friendships will follow, some won’t and that is the nature of life.

But a great adventure awaits.

I’ve sadly had to put my restart to exercise on hold due to this cold but it does allow me to get other stuff done, and I have a variety of things to complete. This includes catching up with people I’ve not seen in a while, and easing myself into work after time off.

I may not feel it at the moment but I’m excited about the prospect of sea swimming with Claire on Mull. Mild climate even at this time of the year as the Inner Hebrides are touched by the Gulf Stream.

But I am not fully up in Mull until July/August as I have stuff to wrap up here in Tameside and my home town of Macclesfield.

It will be nice to have visitors to Mull, and Claire has already had some in the form of Paul and Lisa Hudson this week. Though I feel for Paul and Lisa as they’ve relied on buses with no car on the island and everywhere’s closed! That said they caught up last night and had fun.

Happiness. Sunday 19th September 2021.

Not posted in a while. Variety of reasons. Today is about happiness. Today is about giggles, mischief, and fun. As personified by Roobarb and Custard. It is about being a child again, and these two characters featured in my childhood. Today is also about letting go of resentments. Because Roobarb and Custard always make up.

Well it is Sunday 19th September and I am happy, yes I am happy. And that is a good, good; well in fact a jolly good feeling after what has been a while and a number of tribulations. I hope my happiness rubs off on people, and I’ll muse below if you fancy a read. I will structure this all around animated cartoons from the years of growing up with particular HOMAGE paid to Cosgrove Hall Films.

You see cartoons can bring the child out of us, remind us of that simplicity and innocence that we hark back to, have lost, but can rediscover. It is about hanging about with pals and adventures.

It is time to go back in a time warp to easier times, when life has been hard with Brexit, Covid.

Roobard and Custard - Anarchy and Living in the Moment

These two hooligans for me sum up what being alive is all about. Anarchy and living in the Moment. So simple, yet so crucial. We should reach into the past as a reminder, but we ought not to live in the past for that is an artifice. Roobard and Custard are cartoon animals, and like animals they live in the here and now. We, mankind, can be foolish in our pursuit and analysis of what has passed and what may yet be. Through reading and meditation we can learn those skills of being in the moment. Being at peace within our story, our timeline.

Dangermouse - Friendship

When I look to Dangermouse and his endearing relationship with Penfold I smile. Through thick and thin we hear the cry of “Crumbs DM!” A now favourite phrase of mine instead of being a potty mouth and swearing.

Be rich in those friends you have, and above all cherish them for you have swift company, sound advice, and love. Do not forsake this or them.

Make friends and choose carefully. I though I’d chosen carefully, but clearly I did not. Do read further, and like myself find your peace in being proud of who you are. Dangermouse is Dangermouse, Penfold is Penfold, You are You.

Chorlton and the Wheelies - Don’t be put down or Judged

Chorlton the Dragon is the epitome of happiness. Simple, cheerful, and brings pleasure to the Wheelies. The is how I seek to be. A happy dragon who does not let the miserable and wicked Fenella the Kettle Witch get on top of him. To the un-initiated Fenella does not like people being happy.

To me, Fenella represents those individuals who fail to see the good, the happiness in life. They have lost direction. After all “… there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us…” Don’t let the Fenella’s of this world grind you down, or lead you to their way of living. Sadly such people will “crap” on you to make themselves feel better. In fact to justify what they do and how they behave.

Realise, Like Chorlton the happy Dragon, that you cannot control people, places, and things. Especially people. You focus on “keeping your side of the street clean”. Chorlton is oblivious to Fenella and happy. You concentrate on your “s**t” and let such people “keep their side of the street clean”. In doing so you obtain a freedom that is unbridled. (Have a read of The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama.)

When I had a meltdown in July and August of “quality” proportions it was somewhat interesting in retrospection to see who rallied around me. Yes, I was at fault and yes erratic to put it mildly, but I have seen both the humanity and the inhumanity. What opened my eyes to crisis, personal meltdown, and self-questioning were those who were not there for me. But over time I realise that harbouring resentments only bites you in the bum. A resentment is simply a fear. But a fear of what? Of not being liked, of being alone in my case.

But I reverse engineered my thinking and understood that you only have control over yourself and not others. So focus on you, since you will not change these people and how they act. And to harbour resentments ties you to the past, when we in fact live in the moment. Face your fears (resentments) and realise you are rich in this life.

I was lost but found by real people. True friends.

Jamie and the magic Torch - Always Dream

Can you remember Jamie and his dog Wordsworth? Ever night was a dream. As adults were stifle our inner child, our happiness, because we are sucked into the system we live in. I suggest you head off for a walk and pretend to be a child exploring, looking for adventure, mischief maybe. Go somewhere different, where you have not been, go alone. Re-connect with that sense of adventure and forget the present and its challenges. In re-connecting you feel that inner happiness you once felt as a carefree child. It creates a sense of peace, of happiness, of seeing the colours in the trees, the smell of the air.

Day dream of what could be, but don’t sit in melancholy. This will inspire you and potentially break a cycle you feel trapped in. How many of us have become subservient to a system and people that teaches us “it’s way of life”? You can but choose your own life if you dream and remember what you wanted as a child.

It is never too late. I’ve learnt that.

Mr Ben - We all “wear” Personas

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,”

Shakespeare - As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 7

Are we like Mr Benn?

We are ourselves when with ourselves. Only we are the true person when alone. In life we become players wearing a persona and it is healthy to be aware of this. It is not wrong, it is what we do. But be aware that you may be wearing a mask, and may not need to. Be true to yourself, read below. Note the part I have placed in BOLD.

Yet here, Laertes? Aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay'd for. There- my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,545
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar:
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel; but being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are most select and generous, chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all- to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Farewell. My blessing season this in thee!”

Polonius to Laertes, Hamlet Act 1, Scene 3.

Sometimes we have to wear a mask, for example to accommodate people, e.g. when talking to a young child. But as an adult be true to yourself and speak your mind. If someone is p*****g you off, tell them. Do not stew in this because this does not lead to happiness. Make your happiness. Choose your happiness. So as you choose your mind set your behaviour will follow, as the happy sun follows the lonely darkness. I say darkness because in not being who we are we can lose ourselves in the dark.

Suggested Reading/Bibliography

  • The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama.

  • The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

  • Irresistible: Why you are addicted to technology and how to set yourself free by Adam Atler.

  • The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters.

  • The Ocean at The End of The Lane by Neil Gaiman.

  • Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig.

  • What I talk about when I talk about Running by Haruki Murakami.